Taylor Swift
Love Story


Love Story - Taylor Swift

Huiying.
10 February.
Musician, Writer.
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Hey sorry guys I haven't been blogging. I've been absorbed in a lot of things. Being sixteen, CAs, and everything.

I have been trying very hard. But I guess there is always a limit on how much one can do. I am not shameful, I just feel a bit guilty. To all the people who care for me, or have cared for me, thank you. And I'm sorry I can't do much.

Right now I'm back to a state of getting my act together. I haven't been well, but hopefully I'll get well soon.

Change is the only constant thing in life, but sometimes we are plagued with situations that drown us like quicksand. The only alternative to be strong and stay calm, and that's what I've been trying to do.

It is not easy living in the mad world which I reside in, but with luck I will have a break from living there. The grass always seems greener on the other side, but it is only when we realise how fortunate we are that makes us happy and content.

Right now I haven't found my patch of green grass yet. And I am struggling in muddy waters, but I'll get out soon. I'm getting tired.

I probably won't be blogging very much during this period. I know this might sound shady and weird, but inner peace is something that I have to find now.

It is a dangerous period for me. And I need to stay calm.

Thank you for all the concern. I will be fine.
Written @9:28 PM!
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BLOODY HELL, I'M 16?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

I'M SIXTEEN!!!!

Oh my God! It hasn't sunk it. This morning I was feeling VERY disoriented because I was 16, and I didn't feel like it. LOL. But right now I feel more '16'. I don't know how to describe it. It's a feeling that I'm not used to. But it's a feeling I cannot fight, something I cannot resist...

Basically, being 16 pretty much rocks. I don't know the difference YET. But I think the perks are going to kick in very soon.

And also, this years birthday was SO MUCH BETTER THAN LAST YEAR'S you have no bloody idea!!! And also, one of the best I've had in a while ;)

It started off with the girls in 3E3 writing on the board happy birthday to me and Shibei, and then they sang this cheesy birthday song which was... um, cheesy. But thanks for the effort!

I didn't expect anyone to wish me, seeing as how I have been pretty much anti-social for the past since-school-reopening, but everyone was so nice!

I met Huien after school to study/ GET THAT AMAZING CARD SHE MADE FOR ME. I told her it was awesome. But she said it was okay. But of course she was being modest since...

EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY SAID SHE HAD TALENT IN ART WHEN I SHOWED IT TO THEM AFTER DINNER!!!!!

SO HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My aunt and uncle came over for dinner, minus the cousins. Since they were busy with CCAs, or NS, or in the case of Huijun, Fall Out Boy concert! Actually, I wonder what is going on there now.

But my Nainai cooked me such a fantastic dinner of all my favourite foods (almost everything in the world), and my parents got me this fantastic carrot cake (not the one that's fried, people) that was tres tres delicioso!!!!

And seeing my name on the cake, made me feel... like a little girl again. I haven't had my name on a cake for a long time, trust me. And seeing it again, was just...

GROOVY.

Thanks to everyone who wished me (whack me if I miss you out)!!

Papa, Mom, Nainai, Xiao-yi, Yi-yi, Huien, Monica, Han Ying, Sijin, Uncle Yang Shun, Jiaying, Huijun, San-shen, San-shu, Deborah, SY, Bea, Cherie, Kim, Sue Yu, Nikita, Tania, the whole of 3E3, Trevor, Rukaya, Glenda, Dalini, Joseph!!!

Punch me if I miss you out!!!

And MUCHOS GRACIAS to all the presents!




Written @9:46 PM!
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It's 2 days to my 16th birthday.

I am getting kind of excited about the whole NC16 thing. But other than that, I'm wondering how different I will feel.

These few days have been nothing short of turbulent for me. It's always going up and down, like I'm stuck in a current in the sea, paddling for dear life forward but always ending up at the same dire situation. It's not been easy.

But I realised that in life, you can't have everything you want. And you have to pass through a route in life. All teenagers have to go to school. So maybe I should just stop whining and worrying.

And now that I am away and acceptant from all those worries, I have a clear mind to think about what I want to do for my 16th birthday.

My creative juices are failing me. And even my psycho imagination is not helping. But I'll think of something... right? I don't know. Aren't you supposed to do something mad for 16th?

I got my first birthday presents from my parents and my aunt. My aunt paid for the Design for Living play I went for. And my parents got me the latest and last Princess Diaries, and also threw in an Aussie magazine. So I'm happy.

I think I don't need much for my birthday. I don't have to do something expensive. They say the best gifts are those from the heart.

And compared to last years birthday, I would take anything from a cow to just a simple wishing. Last year, I didn't get any. And this year, I don't know.

I've been asking myself, do I care anymore if anyone remembers my birthday? Do I really care?

And the answer is no.

No. No, I don't care if people forget my birthday. I'm still going to have some mad fun on my own, but remember everyone's birthday anyway. (It's not like I can forget because I have a photographic memory sometimes)

So, I have no high expectations for my 16th this year. I just want the tres cliched World Peace, everyone around me to be happy, for everyone to have good health, have a happy year, for Obama to do wonders to America, and for myself to not be so stupid anymore.

Okay, I want to go to London too. LOL.

End.
Written @9:32 PM!
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You know, turning 16 in less than a week (5 DAYS!!!) is kind of making me a bit disoriented. I don't know how you're supposed to feel when you're 16. But I guess in a few days I will find out.

On MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen, they make out like people are supposed to throw huge growing-up parties and dance the night away and everything. But I guess that's because they are Westerners, and probably have enough money to feed the whole of Africa.

I don't know what I'm going to do for my sweet 16. Monica and Huijun are going to Fall Out Boy (which I decided not to go for in the end because I really only wanted to go for Hey Monday, and I can spend that money on CDs or something). It is a school day, and so I will probably have homework. It will be on the week before CA week, so that just makes it so much better. NOT.

In fact, I don't actually see how my sweet 16 is going to be awesome. There are just SO many other factors pointing in the wrong direction. It seems like everything is just going to go southwards.

I'm reading a book called Tuesdays with Morrie. Which I'm quite sure a lot of you guys have heard of. My aunt lent it to me. Somewhere in front, there was something that Morrie said that caught my breath.

'Love always wins.'

He was talking about the struggle between doing what is right, and what you want to do. There will never be a perfect answer, but to Morrie, love would triumph. Your heart will win.

But right now I'm trying not to let it win. If it wins, my future might go down the drain.

I feel very trapped in establishments, suffocated in rules. I don't think I was meant to live caged, but rather, liberated. Free like a bird in the sky. Wind blowing at me from the top of somewhere high - free to do whatever I want.

But right now I am drowning in the density of what is right and wrong. And now everything I am doing is not for me. So what am I doing? That should be the question.

And another question comes to my mind nowadays: To be, or not to be.

I mean that in the most raw meaning of that line, not the one's whose meanings has been diluted by the many opinions of people today.

--

Last Saturday I went to a play Design for Living. Okay, I have to admit, I sort of went because I wanted to see Joe Cheng. Because, hello? When a chance like that hits you in the face, you never say no.

And I didn't regret it.

Well, it was a miracle, honestly, how we managed to get in (the short of short of it, is that it was sold out and some guy sold his tickets to us at the last minute - 10 minutes before - and it was 10th ROW!).

But I really liked the whole theme. It was about how we need to work to survive, and we can't possibly survive without working. But why is it that working gives us such fear and boredom and frustration?

It relates to school, like why do we go to school? For having a good future. If we don't go to school, we probably wouldn't get a prominent future. But why is it that going to school makes so many of us tired and lethargic and annoyed... whether it is the tests or the school hours...

Something to ponder about.

--

On the other side of the coin, I cannot believe my birthday is coming. 16!! I can still remember when I was freaking out about becoming 13. That was a march into teenhood. And now, it's sort of reaching mid-teenhood. Only 5 more years before I become an adult.

How freakish is that, I ask you?

How NOT GROOVY is that, I ask you?

The answer is tres tres non-groovy, and tres tres freakazoidy.

I rest this bloody case.
Written @3:57 PM!
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Today was a MERRY DAY!!!!

I went back to Dunman High, and probably got stared to death by so many people because of my very unconventional attire (black and white skirt). It wasn't something I enjoy, getting stared at. I don't like attracting attention, which makes me doubtful if I will ever make it without barfing on stage. But... whatever.

It was fun. Though I still insist that the school looks like a warehouse.

I saw Wennie, Kening, Jiaying, Shermaine, Huien, Weian, Jiaxin, SY, Vivyan and Laura. And Mr Lim I think? I didn't see any other teachers who I acknowledged (being embarrassed to leave them with so much to do for me wasn't a good impression).

But it was fun catching up. And of course Janelle (Junyan). We sat there in the newly revamped canteen laughing and talking. I even ordered this peach and orange drinks thing WITH PEARLS, but after I took a sip of it I realised I really didn't like pearls.

How genius of me.

And they sell Thai food now!?!?!?! Which is like, AHHHHH. Annoyed. Thai food is awesome and will always been groovy. Rock on Thai food.

And I think I hugged so many people today it must be a record (since, of course, I don't have a lot of potential hugging mates or anything). But it was nice.

I did feel slightly out of place, and a sense of suffocation that I think I will always get when I'm in Dunman, but it was okay. It was better. It's sort of a closure.

I realised I'm not that scared of the school anymore, and maybe that will help me progress in my new school.

For the record, yes, I am retaking Sec 3. And sometimes I regret wasting a year. But it wasn't my fault. I just happened to get sick, something that so might happen to so many people. And I am counting my blessings to be able to continue almost straight away.

You people who met me (and those who didn't - Denise!!!) remember to meet with me SOON again. I've had ENOUGH of your lame excuses about having tests 24/7!!! There will be time if we find some.

Just kidding. Take your time people. I know I'm the only one swatting flies.

And someone has to complain about the flights of stairs, it's mad beyond words. I climbed to the 4th floor, and that was already insane for me.

I can't imagine what the people who study on the 5th and 6th floors have to go through EVERYDAY. Janelle told me that it's the worst when they are late for class from recess. Touche.

Probably all the girls will end up like Giselle Bundchen, and all the guys like Miss J from America's Next Top Model???

Ah, why do all good things come to an end?
Written @9:47 PM!
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I'm not going to post about CNY yet because now I am almost dead with fatigue. But I figured that I should post to wish everything the Happiest Chinese New Year EVER!!!!!

Seeing everyone wrapped up in the whole festival cheer is a wonderful feeling. I haven't laughed like that in a while. And it's nice to just lose the inhibitions and be yourself with your family. Nothing to be afraid, nothing to be shy about.

It's pretty groovy.

And of course the food is pretty wonderful. Actually, wonderful is an understatement. Pictures please go to my sister's blog. Ha.

And okay, Huien, I don't understand why you tagged me since we basically know each other so well we can read each others' minds. But since you did, I figured I should do this.

Bear with me for a bit.

25 Random Facts about Me

'Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you!'

1. I am a drummer. And right now my fave drummer is Zac Farro from Paramore, because he is so talented at such a young age, and something I look to achieving.

2. I am still in Sec 3 even though I'm 16 this year. This is not because I got retained, but because I got sick. Hey, believe it if you want.

3. I live on a Room On the 3rd Floor.

4. I am debating whether to go to Fall Out Boy's concert, since Jason Mraz was sold out so quickly. FOB's coming on my birthday!

5. I want to go to the UK, NZ. And Canada to visit Kim!

6. I can play (almost) three instruments.

7. I love my family. They are fab.

8. My MSN display picture was taken at the Singapore Science Centre, when my aunt got free passes.

9. I went to the Click Five MOS invite-only gig in '07, because my cousin won us tickets! Whoooo!

10. I went to Singfest last year, and had the best time of my life.

11. My favourite colours are any shade of red: maroon, mauve, brick red, siren red...

12. I like taking the long way to open the mailbox everyday because I like enjoying the walk and the breeze from my house to B1, instead of just walking underground straight to it.

13. I'm from Taonan School, class of 2005!!! And loving it. And I also wish I could see my primary school friends again.

14. I haven't seen anyone from 2Guava except Huien for a long time. Probably close to a year or so.

15. I have 3 cousins living in NZ, one of them going to Shaolin to master Kungfu for a year.

16. I used to have the name Chelsea for myself, but then I found out it was a football club and it meant dock for ships or something. So of course I refused it from then on.

17. I like reading. A lot. And also I like reading dumb hilarious books.

18. I can't understand Shakespeare, and I'm not even going to try to act like I do.

19. I really don't like people who feel that they are superior themselves. Confidence is fine, arrogance is not.

20. I have a pile of homework to finish!!!! WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!?!?!

21. I am hopefully meeting Janelle on Sunday! YAY! Our mission shall be a secret.

22. I think the social hierachy in school (popular people, nerds, geeks) is funny.

23. I won some money gambling on the first day of CNY.

24. I still have to send my late Xmas/ New Year present to Kim. In Canada.

25. Lastly, I like commuting because I have my music. My iPod remains my most valuable technological object. I will die without music. And without music, I don't even know how I would be like.

So THANK GOD FOR MUSIC!!!!!
Written @5:16 PM!
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Sorry I haven't been blogging. I've been up to my neck with mad stuff.

Hmm. Where to start???

Last Thursday (okay, I know, it is kind of extreme how long I haven't blogged), Huien followed me to drums. And she watched me play. I hope I didn't bore you with my mediocre skills!! LOL. She's a fast learner! She could learn a bit of Jenny within the 15 minutes I taught her stuff. Whoohoo to you. :D

Then Saturday and Sunday was just catching up on homework since I missed so many days of school. But then I realised that this week I wasn't going to OBS, and therefore it was kind of pointless to do any homework, if it wasn't due this week.

Have to start revising Bio though. What the hell is sER, rER and whatever-blah-R-not? Must read up.

Sunday I went to my Fourth Grandaunt's house and spent the whole day trying to finish 2 books which were due the next day, to not get fined. Not get fined 15c. And also play mahjong. DUH.

OKAY LAUGH!!!!! But money is important. If you get fined for a million books, it'll be 15 million! Imagine how many cliched Hollywood mansions you can buy with that???

Plus CDs.... PHWOAR!

And the books I was trying to finish was the Georgia Nicholson series. Which is tres tres hilarious. I am not kidding. If you read it, you will know. I think I am even starting to speak like her, what with the use of the words 'loon' and 'marvy' and so on.

Such is the influence of 4 consecutive MAD books.

Reading is power!

And yesterday we went to the National Museum of Singapore, as part of our non-OBS programme. It was... quite boring. Except the exhibitions were really well-thought out and nice to look at. :D

Today we went to the NUS Baba House. Which was SUCH an eye-opener.

Okay, I am only saying this because I am one of those (along with the rest of Singapore) followers of Little Nyonya on Channel 8. And seeing the facade of the house, and then the interior and everything that was so similar...

...Made me feel as though I walked right back in time, as the guide put it. And really, I think the 20s would be a fantastic time to live in, what with no worries of computer crashing, iPod dying etc.

Honestly, everything was so intricate it was as if if you touched anything it would crinkled into pieces.

They even had that lantern thing and zui1 yuan3 thing. Which was fantastic. (Pictures up in a while)

Well, we weren't supposed to take pictures inside the house, but I just snuck ONE picture of the zui1 yuan3 thing. And to be honest, it really didn't turn out so well. It was dark since I didn't want to risk the flash and you can barely make it out.

And everytime I walked through that area, my eyes would just automatically stray toward that board overhead. It was quite mad... almost like how the entire island of Singapore has gone Nyonya-mad.

That time I went by the Katong Antique House (because I always pass it on the way to drums), and it was brimming with people! Usually when I go by it there is NO ONE IN THERE. Then, suddenly a drama with Jeanette Aw comes along (with brilliant acting BTW), and Nyonya Fever explodes.

Media is powerful.

--

Also, I haven't finished my New Year shopping (okay I know it is less than a week, thanks for the reminder... not). So Monica has agreed to follow me on my die-or-try quest to finish my second day outfit. She doesn't know that yet. Hopefully no one dies.

But that will remain to be known.

--

I have to get some sleep. I'm worse off than the zombies off in Loonland.

I'm probably as sleepy as a person who has had to hang on to a branch because there were too many werewolves waiting to attack below. For 3 days and such.

Or something.

(OKAY ELLEN FROM THE BOOKS IS GETTING TO ME)

And forgive me, I'm just mad from sleep-deprivation.

Ciao.

PS: Turning 16 in less than a month is just giving me the weirdest feeling of pre-midlife crisis.

Lord save me.
Written @4:31 PM!
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